Sunday, November 28, 2010

Fake People

They're everywhere! Fake people. Fake people, as defined by me, are individuals whom assume other personalities, other personas to please or conform to what others would want you to be. I've had these people run rampant through my entire life and they were 100%, all the time, women!
Not to say men can't be fake, however most of the time its women. Women whom are conformists, who want to be loved bc there was probably a lack of that in their life or women who have been fake so long, they have no idea they are fake.

How to spot a Fake Person:

If he/she agrees with everything u say, likes everything u like, has been to every single place you have, loves everything you do( same music, same extracurricular activities) and has done most everything you have then that person is fake..
       It is a cut off point to where you think alright, either this person is fake or its a hell of alot of coincidences between us. I had a girl who wanted to be my friend so badly she lied constantly just to fit in with me. Don't be afraid to be urself or to be different. If a person doesn't like you for who u are then no need to associate with him/her.

If he/she acts one way with you in the beginning and she/he is slowly starting to show you her/his true colors.
    I saw this alot especially in new relationships. Its rosey in the beginning andthen boom..no more flowers, more disagreements, no politeness, etc. With new relationships, each person is trying to please the other so much that when they're done trying to please the other person, its not a happy union anymore. Ive been in two long term relationships and I have been a victim of this. Be who you are all the time. If you let things slide bc you think hey, i'll correct him later or thats annoying but I won't tell him now. When that time comes the other person will think differently of you, thats a fact. Let him know off the bat what u like, what u don't like so when you fall in love your not falling for a fake person, he's loving you for u.
    I also seen this with friends. A friend is so nice to me, we go to the movies all the time, party, drink together and then she gets a phone call from Mom, and is cussing her mother out. Uuhh, the first thing I thought was Eeeww, I don't want to be this person's friend, look how she treats her mother..if she has no respect for her, she def won't have respect for me in a couple years.

Moral of this is don't be anything less or more of who u are. When people decide to be around you, its because they like who you are. If you're acting fake, you can rest assure they will leave your life. Which is why many fake people dont have long lasting relationships, whether its friends or romances.
     

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Love to Love you! Guide to Living with a Boyfriend

Most people know one another for years before committing to live with eachother. Josh and I- 2 months.

The best way to really, truly know someone is to live with them, day to day. It's the new age where young adults want to know exactly what they're buying before they blow their life savings. If one is already giving their body to a man, not living together isn't gonna make you more of a virgin or more traditional, for that matter.

When Josh asked me to live with him, I immediately turned him down and consistently did until I felt it was a good decision for me. I weighed my pros and cons, saved up and left NYC for Savannah, GA. Now..not every girl can do what I did successfully. I had my ducks in a row before I fired. I have a bachelors degree and have a CAREER- jobs and careers are different things. I was lucky enough to step foot into Ga and not have to collect one ounce of unemployment benefits. I snagged a position immediately.

Independance is key!!! The new age man does not want to support a woman entirely. He wants her to have her own just as he does, so when they combine their assets to make big purchases, they have a great amount OR if, god-forbid, something happens and one person cannot work for a long period, the other person can pick up the slack. He deployed for Afghanistan and I paid his bills with MY money.
Many women don't know what being fully independant is. I worked 30 hrs a week in college, paid my own tuition and even though I accumulated student loans, I pay for it with MY money from MY paycheck. Before meeting Josh, I had my own and it still remains that way.

We go out to nice restaurants around town and I offer to pay sometimes. Almost 50% of the time I offer or I just pay without hesitation. There are many reasons as to why I do that. One being: I want him to know that I don't need him and in a moments notice(life isn't perfect, things happen sometimes) if things crumble I can take my butt elsewhere and live in the SAME conditions as I have been. Another reason is: what kind of woman are you if you let a man pay for everything. Your worthless that what you are. If you can't pay for your own things, you need to get a JOB.
Men will treat you alot differently if they know you can leave at any time, no questions asked. To me that's why I didn't jump into marriage, my freedom and independance mean too much to me. I love the feeling of staying with him because I love him and want to be with him everyday, not me HAVING to be there because we're married.

We respect one another immensely and we communicate effectively. When we have disagreements we don't fight or bicker, we talk it out and listen to eachother's point of view. To be honest, Josh is 26 and I will be in a month, its very high school of us to yell at eachother. Yelling and arguing is used to prove your point or talk over the person, if your trying to resolve an issue you must listen. There are many times I had to tell him 'I'm sorry, your right' and vise versa.

While he was oversees he surprised me and brought me a spa package at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. He loves to surprise me with gifts. He also just brought me an $800 camera. I've been wanting this camera for about a year as well. He tells me constantly he has never brought a woman such expensive gifts and he loves to do it cause not only does he love me but he sees I'm worth it and he loves to make me happy. Love and relationships are give and take. He brought me these girfts but while he was oversees I was running all his errands and paying the bills, on time might I add. Its things like that that he appreciated more than anything.

I cook and clean but no more than I did before I met him. I am a clean person, I can be a bit of a clean freak. I think he thought like many men do, she will be clean for the first month then put down her Mr Clean for a remote. No way. I don't love to clean but if I notice the place needs to be cleaned, I clean it without him having to say anything. I don't think he's ever been in such a clean environment until now. Even his mother thinks I am. Josh's brother and mother came to visit with a second notice, they walked in and couldn't stop talking about how the place was immaculate.
I cook also but the range of my cooking skills isn't vast. I'm still learning but Josh is a great chef. We sometimes collaborate on our dinners, we'll cook a meal together or he'll cook and serve me wine with our meal; we'll make mini dates inside the house.

Set a timeline and have the same goals. Josh has approached me on more than one occassion and told me he wants to start a family, meaning to me, you better start having some babies. I want to have children and eventually get married(in any particular order) but not today or tomorrow. We are both getting older and have the same goals but I know exactly when I want to execute my goals. I have set a timeframe for everything. It goes something like: marriage in a yr from now, new house in a yr and half, babies in two years, etc. Don't walk into living with a boyfriend until you set a timeline. He may or may not have to know about it.
When the time is up and lets say he doesn't ask you to get married, leave. Just go. As for him, he has let me know of his timeline and when it comes to marriage and children, he has been open and honest about his time expectations.

And the most important thing about living with a boyfriend is having love and respect for eachother no matter what. I never really knew I could love someone so much before I met him and my respect for him and what he does is immense. As long as you remember that love and respect, everything should work itself out.