So I'm turning 2-6 and it means more to me than turning 25. I was in Mexico for my 25th Birthday and it came and went( because I was intoxicated for a week probably). Didn't feel older at all. Now I'm checking for wrinkles every chance I get. I will now be in my LATE twenties. Have I been through alot in my life? experiences? wisdom? eehh. Honestly I haven't been through alot.
I had a great childhood, both parents who loved eachother, my sister and I immensely and will be celebrating their 30th anniversary in a few months. I went to an all girls catholic high school ,where I learnt that girls can be united( if there weren't men around). A great university in which I put myself through and is currently still paying the price! I never got involved with a guy until college, where I got my first real bf. We were together for two years and a half. After that I met Shiraz, and we were together for also two years and a half.
I could lie and say yes I grew up in the ghetto and had to fight to stay alive. I lived in a not so good neighborhood but never associated with anyone. I was never influenced negativly by it because every weekend my parents took me shopping in NYC, shows, ballets, operas, concerts, coffeehouses all in the city.
Am I a goody two shoes? do I think all people are good? Yes. Somewhat. I always want to see the good in people and I will continue to be this way forever, no matter how old I am.
ON MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY
My Birthday is Dec. 18th( a Sat this yr!!woohoo)So Josh ordered a Little Mermaid chocolate cake for me(my favorite) and his friend Eilers is coming into town. I don't want to get drunk but my favorite drink is a Margarita and we're probably gonna end up in Carlitos downtown (the best margaritas!!). I guess we will see!!
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010
RECESSION
Everyone over the age of 18 and not in the armed forces knows that times, right now, are tough. This recession has not only hit me hard but my entire family as well. My mom was unemployed earlier this year for the first time in 15 years and thank goodness she obtained her degree and met a few good people at her last job because that was her saviour in this tight job market. New York has so many opportunities however not many are avaliable to everyone(key word). I would say if your not working as a waitress, retail associate or fast food person you need a bachelors degree. Bachelors degrees are today's equivalent of a hs diploma. It won't give you a job interview however, the people you know has the most influence in your job search.
Even the army has been tighening up their recruitment. Its a fact if someone is in a bind financially and emotionally they usually turn to the armed forces as their last resort. Enrollment has been going sky rocket because many people are at the end and need a way out.
As a new college graduate I was looking seriously into the Marines Officer program because of the diffculty in my job search. I even went as far as to sign a few papers but stopped the process when I recieved my dream job. I even told my dad I'd be joining, he said "well if your desperate then go ahead but I would go to the airforce because their for weak people like you." (Don't get me wrong I'm athletic but I'm reallllly girly and I didn't want to look butchy with a big back like I heard the armed forces got girls looking). I now ask my cousin about his experience in the airforce and he loves it but I'm glad I didn't go through with it, that would have been the easy way out.
The best way that I have been beating this economy is persistence and budgeting! If I want a job, whatever a job might be, I persistently email and call until they all know my name and have to grant me an interview. I have been cutting down on my shopping, like 100% actually. Urban Outfitters and the occassional catalogue shopping has been cut down ten fold. I have brought one shirt in three months and have concentrated my money on essentials and BILLS. I was use to shopping, honestly, twice a week and I always brought over a hundred dollars worth of useless items everytime.
I am not poor but I'm not rich. To be quite honest, Josh and I together make over 100,000 as our household income but you wouldn't think that by the way we spend. We split our grocery shopping bill, as far as eating out we take turns paying the bill and as far as anything else if he wants it he buys it for himself, if I want it I buy it for myself. Thank God I don't need a car, I am walking distance to my job and he has two vehicles. I don't have car insurance or a car note to pay however I do have student loans which are the equivalent of both those things.
Life is very unstable now for everyone so you must play it safe. Don't overspend, don't buy luxuries you'll never use and use what you have.
Even the army has been tighening up their recruitment. Its a fact if someone is in a bind financially and emotionally they usually turn to the armed forces as their last resort. Enrollment has been going sky rocket because many people are at the end and need a way out.
As a new college graduate I was looking seriously into the Marines Officer program because of the diffculty in my job search. I even went as far as to sign a few papers but stopped the process when I recieved my dream job. I even told my dad I'd be joining, he said "well if your desperate then go ahead but I would go to the airforce because their for weak people like you." (Don't get me wrong I'm athletic but I'm reallllly girly and I didn't want to look butchy with a big back like I heard the armed forces got girls looking). I now ask my cousin about his experience in the airforce and he loves it but I'm glad I didn't go through with it, that would have been the easy way out.
The best way that I have been beating this economy is persistence and budgeting! If I want a job, whatever a job might be, I persistently email and call until they all know my name and have to grant me an interview. I have been cutting down on my shopping, like 100% actually. Urban Outfitters and the occassional catalogue shopping has been cut down ten fold. I have brought one shirt in three months and have concentrated my money on essentials and BILLS. I was use to shopping, honestly, twice a week and I always brought over a hundred dollars worth of useless items everytime.
I am not poor but I'm not rich. To be quite honest, Josh and I together make over 100,000 as our household income but you wouldn't think that by the way we spend. We split our grocery shopping bill, as far as eating out we take turns paying the bill and as far as anything else if he wants it he buys it for himself, if I want it I buy it for myself. Thank God I don't need a car, I am walking distance to my job and he has two vehicles. I don't have car insurance or a car note to pay however I do have student loans which are the equivalent of both those things.
Life is very unstable now for everyone so you must play it safe. Don't overspend, don't buy luxuries you'll never use and use what you have.
What I Want for Christmas
I was flipping through the new issue of "O" magazine yesterday and came across Oprah's favorite things. Oh how I would love to be an Oprah audience member for her Favorite Things Special this Christmas. I saw all these great gifts however I cannot see myself ever wanting any of it. All I want for Christmas is for my loved ones to be happy and for me to continue being happy.
This year has brought so many new, drastic and happy changes to my life (and dealing with the new transition has been very smooth). Its very unchanny however the things life throws at you. This time last year I didn't know Josh even existed, I was engulfed in my dream job and I was single, not looking for a man to complete me becuase ultimately I completed myself.
Now I feel like I can't wait to get to get home to be with him, I look forward to the weekends and for once I don't feel tied down by a man. It's very hard to feel tied down when you can't imagine your life without that person in it. I don't feel he completes me but I do feel my life wouldn't be as joyous.
This Christmas I just want to celebrate the blessings in my life. I don't want a present, I just want happy memories to build on for the future.
This year has brought so many new, drastic and happy changes to my life (and dealing with the new transition has been very smooth). Its very unchanny however the things life throws at you. This time last year I didn't know Josh even existed, I was engulfed in my dream job and I was single, not looking for a man to complete me becuase ultimately I completed myself.
Now I feel like I can't wait to get to get home to be with him, I look forward to the weekends and for once I don't feel tied down by a man. It's very hard to feel tied down when you can't imagine your life without that person in it. I don't feel he completes me but I do feel my life wouldn't be as joyous.
This Christmas I just want to celebrate the blessings in my life. I don't want a present, I just want happy memories to build on for the future.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Dating on the Internet
Its no secret that my bf and I met on the internet. Meeting ppl on the web is easier than to meet ppl on the street sometimes. You have the courage at the tip of your fingers and you don't even need to say a word. It is also a good way for a career-oriented person to meet others when their schedule allows. My friends and I have met guys from the internet and thank goodness, in my case it was all very friendly encounters because I played it safe. There are rules when meeting strangers from the web like, always tell your friends where your going, go to public places, never go to secluded places with him, etc.
My bf used the web to not only meet me but also the person he was with before me. He's very shy upon first encounters so its easier for him to meet girls that way. My bff Edwina and I went on a couple dates from the internet as something fun and they all ended however friendships were formed and we're still in touch with most of them til this day. But beware of the 20 something guys who say they're looking for a relationship. My conclusion is 20 something guys mostly use those internet dating sites as a way of getting as many girls as they can.
In NYC there is a site that many frequent(1 out of 5 actually have an acct) to meet other 20 somethings called plentyoffish. My friend got many dates from it bc its not like eharmony, where you pay for a date. Its more like u browse, find a good looking guy/girl and send a message. No money included and if they reject you they just don't answer, great for guy who messages 40 girls a day with one or two "catches"and no actual face to face rejection(men are afraid of rejection as most should be).
There are also the facebook, myspace relationships( such as mine). Everyone and their mama, literally their mama, have an account of some social network. The main intent of this is to communicate to people you already know or perhaps would like to know more about. I befriend any and everyone. My subscribers to youtube, my friends friend, my parents friends and long lost cousins(believe me there are alot!). You don't speak or talk to someone on facebook to intentionally start dating, its mainly to find out what the person is about. I have many youtube subscribers who message me constantly about my life on facebook and ask me to post more pictures and talk to me about upcoming videos they want to see (they even ask about my previous youtube drama mess). My cousins have been married and have kids through facebook and myspace relationships so it can be successful. I do think my relationship is successful as well. So it can def. be a good thing for some to indulge in.
As far as those craigslists ads ppl post in order to get some quick sex, I don't condone that but some ppl just want to get their rocks off so they can go ahead. With the amount of diseases out there I hope they know what they're doing bc its not safe. I seriously do question those who do that, disease free individuals aren't usually the ones who indulge in that nonsense but to each its own
My bf used the web to not only meet me but also the person he was with before me. He's very shy upon first encounters so its easier for him to meet girls that way. My bff Edwina and I went on a couple dates from the internet as something fun and they all ended however friendships were formed and we're still in touch with most of them til this day. But beware of the 20 something guys who say they're looking for a relationship. My conclusion is 20 something guys mostly use those internet dating sites as a way of getting as many girls as they can.
In NYC there is a site that many frequent(1 out of 5 actually have an acct) to meet other 20 somethings called plentyoffish. My friend got many dates from it bc its not like eharmony, where you pay for a date. Its more like u browse, find a good looking guy/girl and send a message. No money included and if they reject you they just don't answer, great for guy who messages 40 girls a day with one or two "catches"and no actual face to face rejection(men are afraid of rejection as most should be).
There are also the facebook, myspace relationships( such as mine). Everyone and their mama, literally their mama, have an account of some social network. The main intent of this is to communicate to people you already know or perhaps would like to know more about. I befriend any and everyone. My subscribers to youtube, my friends friend, my parents friends and long lost cousins(believe me there are alot!). You don't speak or talk to someone on facebook to intentionally start dating, its mainly to find out what the person is about. I have many youtube subscribers who message me constantly about my life on facebook and ask me to post more pictures and talk to me about upcoming videos they want to see (they even ask about my previous youtube drama mess). My cousins have been married and have kids through facebook and myspace relationships so it can be successful. I do think my relationship is successful as well. So it can def. be a good thing for some to indulge in.
As far as those craigslists ads ppl post in order to get some quick sex, I don't condone that but some ppl just want to get their rocks off so they can go ahead. With the amount of diseases out there I hope they know what they're doing bc its not safe. I seriously do question those who do that, disease free individuals aren't usually the ones who indulge in that nonsense but to each its own
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hard to Let Go
Whether we have to or we're forced to..its hard to let something or someone go. Speaking from personal experience, it took me nearly a full year to completely dissolve the relationship with my previous ex in college. What was the challenging part?
Well when u must see that person on a sporatic basis at school, it was tough. I would see him and fall apart inside. Knowing that he was with other girlsss and I was alone didn't help much either but the relationship was not a healthy one. Not only did he cheat and lie, he did it all the time. He told me he loved me however as my motto goes " I can only believe what I see, not what I hear."
He was a big, frat guy and I was a low key, average girl on campus, whom I've been told by guy friends was just completely off limits to any guy. I learnt later he had a hit out on any guy that was seen talking to me. I immediately met a guy named Derek, who was the exact opposite. He was generous, friendly, basketball player, tall, compassionate, etc however my heart wasn't ready to love again. There was always alittle part in me wishing my ex would change and we would reunite but that never happened. I didn't get involved with Derek bc I wasn't over my ex. I may have missed out on a great guy BUT I will never ever ever put someone in the predicament of being just a rebound (which he would have been). The last time I seen my ex was last summer and he looked different, has a wife and a child and was doing well for himself. All he kept telling me was "Man I wish things would have been different. I still love you til this day, I wish..I wish.."Of course inside I was loving it. He finally regretted what he did but now it was way too late. I didn't love him, I felt no connection to him, I was over him completely. I'm actually glad I went through the heartache with him because now I think God is rewarding me with such a great person. Despite all my hit and miss relationships I found the one, so I'm elated to be so lucky in love now.
Moral of this story is: You cannot fully love again if ur not completely over another, it cannot happen. Your heart needs to heal. Its like if u scrap ur knee. You need to put a band aid on the wound and make it heal. Also people who jump from relationship to relationship do not know who they are. In my lifetime, I've only been involved in 3 relationships, Josh being the third. I spent years being single and I truly found myself during that time period. If you always have that someone there to define you or support, you are just a lost soul. You need to define and support yourself. You need to love yourself then share your love with another. You cannot grow love for somone when you have no love to give.
Well when u must see that person on a sporatic basis at school, it was tough. I would see him and fall apart inside. Knowing that he was with other girlsss and I was alone didn't help much either but the relationship was not a healthy one. Not only did he cheat and lie, he did it all the time. He told me he loved me however as my motto goes " I can only believe what I see, not what I hear."
He was a big, frat guy and I was a low key, average girl on campus, whom I've been told by guy friends was just completely off limits to any guy. I learnt later he had a hit out on any guy that was seen talking to me. I immediately met a guy named Derek, who was the exact opposite. He was generous, friendly, basketball player, tall, compassionate, etc however my heart wasn't ready to love again. There was always alittle part in me wishing my ex would change and we would reunite but that never happened. I didn't get involved with Derek bc I wasn't over my ex. I may have missed out on a great guy BUT I will never ever ever put someone in the predicament of being just a rebound (which he would have been). The last time I seen my ex was last summer and he looked different, has a wife and a child and was doing well for himself. All he kept telling me was "Man I wish things would have been different. I still love you til this day, I wish..I wish.."Of course inside I was loving it. He finally regretted what he did but now it was way too late. I didn't love him, I felt no connection to him, I was over him completely. I'm actually glad I went through the heartache with him because now I think God is rewarding me with such a great person. Despite all my hit and miss relationships I found the one, so I'm elated to be so lucky in love now.
Moral of this story is: You cannot fully love again if ur not completely over another, it cannot happen. Your heart needs to heal. Its like if u scrap ur knee. You need to put a band aid on the wound and make it heal. Also people who jump from relationship to relationship do not know who they are. In my lifetime, I've only been involved in 3 relationships, Josh being the third. I spent years being single and I truly found myself during that time period. If you always have that someone there to define you or support, you are just a lost soul. You need to define and support yourself. You need to love yourself then share your love with another. You cannot grow love for somone when you have no love to give.
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