Wow, what a 2011 this was!!
I look back at it and cry, laugh and smile all at the same time. It has been a very trying year. We all have to remember that no matter how bad of a year it was we all have gotten through it. My new years resolution is to be more assertive and proactive towards things I want. I have sat around my whole life and let things come to me, I never really had to work to get the things I have. Well, work as in do anything I wouldn't do.
This year, I am creating my own path and to get the things I want I must do the things I wouldn't ordinarily do.
I will be moving in 2012, out of the south..thank god! I have committed, believe it or not, for the first time ever to a man who I see is worth committing to forever. I have rerouted my life to Savannah and now we are off to our new location. It will be different for him and I. We have no friends or family there and on top of all of this, its an Airforce base! Much smaller and out of his element, he's in the Army. We're both entering a different phase, he says I'm his longest relationship, we've had a dog longer than he's ever had one, we're both homeowners now,etc. I never knew how strong I was until I met him. The Army has intruded multiple times in our relationship, our lives in general. I'm forced to go to events, forced to stay in Savannah during the holidays, forced to have Josh leave because of deployments. I have never been the one to let another person or entity dictate my life until now. It's so hard to get use to this life, the perks are great but there are a great amount of downs, felt especially in 2011.
I have also made the resolution to upload new videos on youtube, atleast once a week. I have cut my hair off mainly because I have texlaxed, and half of my hair is curly and the other is straight. Two more trims and my entire hair should be texlaxed. I'm excited especially since I'm moving to a humid climate (more humid than Georgia!)and texlaxed hair should be less maintaince (we shall see). It's definetely a lot less tangled, that's for sure. I started texlaxing in Oct 2010 so this journey should come to an end in 2012! Finally!
We shall see what this new year has to offer. I'm excited, scared and happy all at once for these new adventures! Til then I'll be watching the twilight zone marathon on the sci-fi channel, my annual nye/new years ritual!
Have a Happy New Year Everyone!
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Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Closure
Some of us never gain closure from past relationships. It's a fact that those whom never gain closure, never fall out of love with that person OR constantly rekindle feelings and memories over that person. As women, I think its imperative that we don't fall victim to love.
I've stated before I have an ex boyfriend whom I did not give closure to. I did not sit him down and say 'it's over" in those words. I did not call, facebook message, anything after, in my mind, I was done with the relationship. Its tough too because I value him as a person and I'm not the one to hurt anyone's feelings.
After you've had multiple long term relationships, you realize that relationships are to be worked on by each party CONSTANTLY, not something to flaunt and believe is stable forever. Relationships can end if each person isn't willing to put in the work which I wasn't willing to do with my ex, mainly because I was selfish.
Women especially will never gain closure. Men are good with dealing with reality (if they have to), not women. Once a man says its over,don't ever speak or see her again. She will get the impression you still want to be with her or there's still a chance for you guys. I was also faced with this in my first relationship. I was so in love with him that I kept accepting him back anyway or anytime I could. After it was completely over I cried for 4 days straight! Nonstop because I got closure, I cried, I rekindled memories, etc and then after those 4 days, it was over. Never cried or really thought about him much again. It's surprising how a 4 year relationship can not mean so much anymore 4 years later of course.
I'm not asking everyone to gain closure from past relationships because that's simply not gonna happen but if you ever enter and leave a relationship make sure it's done properly. If not done properly it can hinder the next relationship you enter into. Either you won't entirely love that person(bc your heart and mind are with another) or because the old person may be bitter and disrupt your new relationship.
I've stated before I have an ex boyfriend whom I did not give closure to. I did not sit him down and say 'it's over" in those words. I did not call, facebook message, anything after, in my mind, I was done with the relationship. Its tough too because I value him as a person and I'm not the one to hurt anyone's feelings.
After you've had multiple long term relationships, you realize that relationships are to be worked on by each party CONSTANTLY, not something to flaunt and believe is stable forever. Relationships can end if each person isn't willing to put in the work which I wasn't willing to do with my ex, mainly because I was selfish.
Women especially will never gain closure. Men are good with dealing with reality (if they have to), not women. Once a man says its over,don't ever speak or see her again. She will get the impression you still want to be with her or there's still a chance for you guys. I was also faced with this in my first relationship. I was so in love with him that I kept accepting him back anyway or anytime I could. After it was completely over I cried for 4 days straight! Nonstop because I got closure, I cried, I rekindled memories, etc and then after those 4 days, it was over. Never cried or really thought about him much again. It's surprising how a 4 year relationship can not mean so much anymore 4 years later of course.
I'm not asking everyone to gain closure from past relationships because that's simply not gonna happen but if you ever enter and leave a relationship make sure it's done properly. If not done properly it can hinder the next relationship you enter into. Either you won't entirely love that person(bc your heart and mind are with another) or because the old person may be bitter and disrupt your new relationship.
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