Closure

Some of us never gain closure from past relationships. It's a fact that those whom never gain closure, never fall out of love with that person OR constantly rekindle feelings and memories over that person. As women, I think its imperative that we don't fall victim to love.

I've stated before I have an ex boyfriend whom I did not give closure to. I did not sit him down and say 'it's over" in those words. I did not call, facebook message, anything after, in my mind, I was done with the relationship. Its tough too because I value him as a person and I'm not the one to hurt anyone's feelings.

After you've had multiple long term relationships, you realize that relationships are to be worked on by each party CONSTANTLY, not something to flaunt and believe is stable forever.  Relationships can end if each person isn't willing to put in the work which I wasn't willing to do with my ex, mainly because I was selfish.

Women especially will never gain closure. Men are good with dealing with reality (if they have to), not women.  Once a man says its over,don't ever speak or see her again. She will get the impression you still want to be with her or there's still a chance for you guys. I was also faced with this in my first relationship. I was so in love with him that I kept accepting him back anyway or anytime I could. After it was completely over I cried for 4 days straight!  Nonstop because I got closure, I cried, I rekindled memories, etc and then after those 4 days, it was over. Never cried or really thought about him much again. It's surprising how a 4 year relationship can not mean so much anymore 4 years later of course.

I'm not asking everyone to gain closure from past relationships because that's simply not gonna happen but if you ever enter and leave a relationship make sure it's done properly. If not done properly it can hinder the next relationship you enter into. Either you won't  entirely love that person(bc your heart and mind are with another) or because the old person may be bitter and disrupt your new relationship.

How to Juggle Work and a Personal Life

Life can be very mundane and boring, especially when our day to day activities are all the same. When it comes to work, it can be very unpredictable and even nerve racking at times. With jobs being so scarce we all have to hold on to whatever we have. Work can consume your life, if you let it.

The army does a good service to family members by providing work calendars and special events to bring families closer but not normal jobs. I have been struggling to create some semblance of a life outside of work lately but there are a few tips I can share with those who struggle with the same issue.

Don't bring work home often. I brought work home everyday for months. It really scewed the idea of home life and work life for me. I do have a blackberry but I don't check it every hour on the hour.

Don't stay late at work to finish something you can do the very next day. If there's no vital deadline then leave it alone and go home at the appropriate time. There's nothing worse than seeing someone who was missing picking up their kid because of no particularly good work reason.

Take vacations and days off! They are given to you for a reason, use it. Go on vacations, relax at home , do whatever you want for a day with your hard earned money!

When at home, don't talk about work. It's hard to shun away something we spend more than 9 hours a day on but its necessary! Talk to loved ones about other things, long term life plans, etc.

Make plans with friends and do things to look forward to outside of work. Even if on a weekday, go for that drink at a bar. go to a friend's house and watch DVD's, etc.