Saturday, December 31, 2011

Welcome 2012!!

Wow, what a 2011 this was!!

I look back at it and cry, laugh and smile all at the same time. It has been a very trying year. We all have to remember that no matter how bad of a year it was we all have gotten through it. My new years resolution is to be more assertive and proactive towards things I want. I have sat around my whole life and let things come to me, I never really had to work to get the things I have. Well, work as in do anything I wouldn't do.

This year, I am creating my own path and to get the things I want I must do the things I wouldn't ordinarily do.

I will be moving in 2012, out of the south..thank god! I have committed, believe it or not, for the first time ever to a man who I see is worth committing to forever. I have rerouted my life to Savannah and now we are off to our new location. It will be different for him and I. We have no friends or family there and on top of all of this, its an Airforce base! Much smaller and out of his element, he's in the Army. We're both entering a different phase, he says I'm his longest relationship, we've had a dog longer than he's ever had one, we're both homeowners now,etc. I never knew how strong I was until I met him. The Army has intruded multiple times in our relationship, our lives in general. I'm forced to go to events, forced to stay in Savannah during the holidays, forced to have Josh leave because of deployments. I have never been the one to let another person or entity dictate my life until now. It's so hard to get use to this life, the perks are great but there are a great amount of downs, felt especially in 2011.

I have also made the resolution to upload new videos on youtube, atleast once a week. I have cut my hair off mainly because I have texlaxed, and half of my hair is curly and the other is straight. Two more trims and my entire hair should be texlaxed. I'm excited especially since I'm moving to a humid climate (more humid than Georgia!)and texlaxed hair should be less maintaince (we shall see). It's definetely a lot less tangled, that's for sure.  I started texlaxing in Oct 2010 so this journey should come to an end in 2012! Finally!

We shall see what this new year has to offer. I'm excited, scared and happy all at once for these new adventures! Til  then I'll be watching the twilight zone marathon on the sci-fi channel, my annual nye/new years ritual!

Have a Happy New Year Everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Closure

Some of us never gain closure from past relationships. It's a fact that those whom never gain closure, never fall out of love with that person OR constantly rekindle feelings and memories over that person. As women, I think its imperative that we don't fall victim to love.

I've stated before I have an ex boyfriend whom I did not give closure to. I did not sit him down and say 'it's over" in those words. I did not call, facebook message, anything after, in my mind, I was done with the relationship. Its tough too because I value him as a person and I'm not the one to hurt anyone's feelings.

After you've had multiple long term relationships, you realize that relationships are to be worked on by each party CONSTANTLY, not something to flaunt and believe is stable forever.  Relationships can end if each person isn't willing to put in the work which I wasn't willing to do with my ex, mainly because I was selfish.

Women especially will never gain closure. Men are good with dealing with reality (if they have to), not women.  Once a man says its over,don't ever speak or see her again. She will get the impression you still want to be with her or there's still a chance for you guys. I was also faced with this in my first relationship. I was so in love with him that I kept accepting him back anyway or anytime I could. After it was completely over I cried for 4 days straight!  Nonstop because I got closure, I cried, I rekindled memories, etc and then after those 4 days, it was over. Never cried or really thought about him much again. It's surprising how a 4 year relationship can not mean so much anymore 4 years later of course.

I'm not asking everyone to gain closure from past relationships because that's simply not gonna happen but if you ever enter and leave a relationship make sure it's done properly. If not done properly it can hinder the next relationship you enter into. Either you won't  entirely love that person(bc your heart and mind are with another) or because the old person may be bitter and disrupt your new relationship.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How to Juggle Work and a Personal Life

Life can be very mundane and boring, especially when our day to day activities are all the same. When it comes to work, it can be very unpredictable and even nerve racking at times. With jobs being so scarce we all have to hold on to whatever we have. Work can consume your life, if you let it.

The army does a good service to family members by providing work calendars and special events to bring families closer but not normal jobs. I have been struggling to create some semblance of a life outside of work lately but there are a few tips I can share with those who struggle with the same issue.

Don't bring work home often. I brought work home everyday for months. It really scewed the idea of home life and work life for me. I do have a blackberry but I don't check it every hour on the hour.

Don't stay late at work to finish something you can do the very next day. If there's no vital deadline then leave it alone and go home at the appropriate time. There's nothing worse than seeing someone who was missing picking up their kid because of no particularly good work reason.

Take vacations and days off! They are given to you for a reason, use it. Go on vacations, relax at home , do whatever you want for a day with your hard earned money!

When at home, don't talk about work. It's hard to shun away something we spend more than 9 hours a day on but its necessary! Talk to loved ones about other things, long term life plans, etc.

Make plans with friends and do things to look forward to outside of work. Even if on a weekday, go for that drink at a bar. go to a friend's house and watch DVD's, etc.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Don't get a dog if...

your not willing to have another child.

I don't have kids yet but my pup is another member of my family. Love her to death. I miss her when I'm at work, think about her when she's home alone.. I went from having no responsibilities, besides the mundane activities of every day life to caring for another life form. I love her so much but my life has completely changed.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

In Rembrance of a Brave Soldier Killed this Week

He was a wonderful friend, son, boyfriend and person. He will always be remembered in our hearts. My heart goes out to the Plutino family.This war brings into perspective what's really important in life and that's the love shared between people. No one will even know an ounce of the heartache and sadness this news brings to everyone that knew Plutino.

A Brave Soldier killed in Afghanistan

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Just Remembered!

I wrote a blog post months ago about my birthday. I had all these plans in my mind and never told you what actually happened. Well Josh and I went to the store in the early morning of my birthday and he picked up my little mermaid cake, which he had ordered a few days before and never told me. I told him about a childhood experience I had with having a Little Mermaid themed party and that's how he got the idea.

After that I went to my hair appointment. Josh took me to the salon which was in my video about upscale salons. We had plans to go out for a romantic date night but I wanted to stay home. He cooked me my favorite meal, we drank wine, and relaxed. Now that I think back on it it was a fantastic birthday. I spent my last birthday in a sweaty club, spending tons of money on bottles of liquor and making everyone else happy. I'm glad to spend it with someone who just wants to make me happy, whether it be my birthday or not.

Now...Josh's birthday is coming up fast...I need ideas. Believe it or not, he's so layback. He doesn't like hoopla or big ordeals, he'd much rather me take him to a movie or something small.
I have a great gift for his homecoming however for his birthday I got nothing! I'd love to know what might make a good gift or what others have gotten their loved ones for their birthday. Let me know in my inbox on youtube.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Shopping Addiction Diet

Whether it's online or at a store, I have a clothes shopping addiction. I have come to terms with my problem and I'm taking steps towards rehabilitation. I may not be as bad as some but it's definitely BAD. Ever since Josh left I have been shopping nonstop. My favorite place to go is the mall, if I'm home I'm almost always on Ideali (my favorite online store). My style is professional and bohemian chic. I am dress professionally 5 days out of week but for those 2 days I look like something out of an urban outfitters catalog.

Most of my close friends are in the military, they can't relate with keeping up on professional wear but it's a huge deal! In my profession we must dress to impress everyday, if you want to be taken seriously. One blazer can cost 80-100 bucks not including the matching pants (because you have to match). It's expensive! In this time of depression I should be saving my money. For the daughter of an accountant I should have a better grip on spending which is why I having set a few rules for myself.

Without a doubt if I go to the mall I will see something I want so I refrain from my trips there, and to Ulta, Michaels, etc. Only on the weekends and not afterwork! I usually relieve my work-related stress at Belk or The Limited.

If I buy clothes on Saturday I cannot buy it again on Sunday. I love to bargain shop for everything EXCEPT for clothes. I buy really expensive clothing so I have to mix it up so I don't spend too much money in one week.

On my toolbar as bookmarks I have de-bookmarked all clothing shops, except for dress wear(I still need a dress for military formal). I have put myself on an online shopping diet. Only go to them when I need a particular item, NOT TO BROWSE.

And lastly, I hang out more often with friends. Granted we go shopping sometimes but I have noticed I hate shopping with other people. I cannot fully enjoy the shopping experience with other people with me, I hardly ever buy anything. Weird, I know!

My latest addiction are Maxi dresses and luckily for my town, we are at the bottom of the tottom pole as far as style selections so I haven't had much luck finding cute ones at the store BUT ONLINE is a different story. Just to give you an overview of my addiction I have 5 maxi dresses (brought them all within a week). I don't know where 2 of them are right now, three I have never worn and two are in the laundry and I don't plan on wearing it again for a long time.

I'm going to stop squandering my money, I work too hard for it. I will have a garage sale for all my clothes and all the items I hardly use. I will do an online garage sale, I believe it's called a blog sale and sell all my goods. I'll let everyone know once I have finished taking pictures so look out for that!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

RealMilitaryWives.tv

Hey Guys!

I'm sure most of my loyal subbies have heard the news. I'm now doing videos for RealMilitaryWives.tv. It was a wonderful opportunity and when approached I was ecstatic! I will talk further of my military spousal experiences and information for the average military spouse. Check me out!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Unattractive People Use 5,000 More Words a day than Attractive People

This is a scientific discovery and it's so absolutely TRUE. It actually stunned me when I first heard it. I will not use my looks as an example because we as humans look at ourselves everyday and are so critical on ourselves more than anyother person. I will however use the many people I know. Ever since middle school the most popular person was never the most attractive, it was always THAT girl or THAT guy whom could get people to THINK they were.
They would woe people with their gift of gab, sometimes talking wayy too much but always getting different assortments of people and clicks to relate to them. There was many girls in high school that now as I look back at them on facebook are not at all pretty, they were and still are unattractive actually. However at the time I was envious of them but they were all just blessed with relatable personalities. THAT'S IT. Unattractive people must overly compensate with talking entirely too much. Attractive people do not need much speech to attract a mate or to make others like them, that's a fact.

All attractive men, whom I've met have said very minimal to get me and other women to like them. I like to put myself in that category when it came to captivating the attention of my ex boyfriends and my present boyfriend as well. I literally met Josh at the airport, said two words to him, he in turn said two words to me. I left there and we had probably 3 conversations. When I came off the plane he couldn't stop texting me, I was so confused. I litterally said to myself wait what?. Come to find out he couldn't stop thinking about me, he even flew me out the very next weekend.

With any attractive man it's the same way. They say minimal, you even chat more than they do or create conversations and sometimes you just become enveloped in their physical appearance. Period.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Church

Growing up in a strict Catholic household I try my best to uphold my religion in my everyday lifestyle. I was the young girl whom would go to church all by myself on some Sundays. Not for any other reason but to listen to the word of God. I see myself doing the same today. I go to church as much as I can and encourage others to as well. In Georgia churches are everywhere. I have a Catholic Church one block away from me in every direction. Every denomination is represented within a half mile radius of my home.

It's funny but you can ignore God for so long but when your in trouble or need direction he's always the first person everyone turns to. I went to mass in College during midterms and finals and sometimes could not get in the door. During Easter Sunday and Lent people come out in drones and it bothers me.  I know people can praise the Lord in their home because I do but why should a religious holiday change that?

I am not perfect. I do call on God when I'm in trouble or times of uncertainty but time has shown me that God sees the people we are. Whether we faithfully pray or try to live life with the  best intentions he sees that. People whom go to church every Sunday and then don't live their life with God in their heart and mind, to me are not fulfilling his wishes (but again it's not for me to judge).

I watch Church television and Joel Osteen is the best preacher I've listened to. I'm into inspirational speakers  and every week he empowers me. It is because of God and him that I have a straight forward mindset. If anyone has any down time and is feeling like they need a progressive spirit, listen to Joel Osteen on Sunday.Here's a clip of one of his great sermons:

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Happy Father's Day Daddy!!!

Ok so my dad isn't reading this but I want to wish my father a very happy father's day! Ohhh man. I cannot say enough about my dad. He's the best! Alittle bit about my dad, he was in the army and left just to marry my mother. He met my mom while he was stationed in Panama, btw. My father worked while my mom went to school in the early years of their marriage. My mother got a high paying job and my dad opted to be an at-home father while my sister and I were younger. Now my father flys airplanes but during the early years, wow my father was my mother, sorta speak.

He is a master at multitasking. He would cook, iron my mom's clothes for work, my uniform for school and then take us all to work and school in the mornings. Food was ready when we came home and he religiously picked us up from school until the age of 8 or 9.  Even now he does some of the same things when he's home from a trip. My father is kind, generous and always put everyone before himself, which is what everyone tells me I do. While my friends grew up with no father or an absent dad (he was there but not there), my dad was the string that held us all together.

He is my rock. I tell him everything, even the day I met Josh I talked non stop about my dad. Josh was so intrigued that when I lived in NYC and my dad flew into Savannah for the night (bc he flys military contracted planes) he called my dad's hotel and asked to take him to dinner. My father approved of Josh and I was on my way to live with him. If my dad approves then it's official in my book.

My dad is so funny. His laugh is contagious. My dad learnt to cook from my mom and completely pushed her out of the kitchen. Now when my mom wants to cook my dad is by her side cooking with her. My father is a southern gentleman, he grew up in Texas and was raised by a Black father from Oklahoma and a Mexican mother, from Mexico City. His parents actually met in Mexico bc his father lived there for most of his life.

He has always instilled the best values in me. "When finding a person to marry always look at yourself and finding the reason they want you, not the reason you want them." "Be the person you're looking for." "Be respectful and kind even when it hurts."

He never laid a hand on me, never beat me or anything. He used to scream! lol..that's for sure, but never beat me. My mom did that enough for him and her put together.lol. He used to actually tell my mom to calm down when she was mad at us. He was the person we ran to at those times. He took us to the park, no one else did. Ever! He went to parent teacher conferences, my teachers all knew him like they knew the mothers. He was part of the PTA at my sister and mine's schools. He is the smartest man I know. He never watches anything but the history channel and reads everyday, whether its the newspaper or an autobiography. I can litterally go on for days about how awesome my father is. Until this day, he supports me. He tells me all the time "the past will always try to have you look back but if you look back you will never see what's in front of you."

I love you Daddy!! Happy Father's Day!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Death

I hate to mention death but death is a part of life. I think about it constantly. What if I died? what if someone I loved died what would I do? how would I carry on? I can't answer any of those questions. I am still in shock at the fact that his friend has died. It made me think closely about what he's doing over there. I count the hours until the phone rings. He's so important to me, he's my rock. I never let myself think too much about it, I start crying but it's definitely something I think about, especially considering the circumstances.


I don't know how I would react or even live life knowing I'll never see that person again. The shock of having someone past away is debilitating. I am a firm believer that you must tell people how much you love them and how they make you feel when they are here on earth. The fact of never seeing the person again is mind-blowing. I wish i could see my grandmother just one more time, just to see her face. That's why I love videos. They capture the person just as they were at that point in time, their mannerisms, they're laughter. I made a private video for Josh on our One yr anniversary chronicling what we've been through, pictures, videos, etc. It made us laugh, cry and smile. I love to take videos and I took some weird videos and some very emotional videos at random times throughout our relationship. Not so much to just take a video but to look back and to see how we were. When we're 60 and 70 yrs old, we'll tell people hey that was us! I certainly know, dating someone who's in harm's way how precious each moment is, why not capture it. It will be a reminder for me or even for him if I were to past, how we were.

Josh has a tattoo on his arm that says 'Born to Die". To anyone else not doing what he does, its a pessimistic view on life however to him, its a grim reality he has to bear. Having friends who have died at 23 or 24 years of age he has coped with it but I haven't. I'm learning more and more that death is the only thing that is promised to everyone, when it comes we have to prepared to move on. However no one can be fully prepared to move on and that's a scary reality.

My Perspective on Blogs

I got a link the other day directing me to go to a blog. I was amazed at how much something so childish can surround one's life so much. We do not care nor are we giving it any thought because all the information that was written by a said person was completely fabricated or twisted around to support her very troubled life.  Josh and I have completely moved on in our lives. We have no need to respond to internet blogs or trolls. His ex is no longer apart of our lives, our conversations, or even in our minds. I saw this blog awhile back and felt no need to respond to it. I suggest she do the same. Feeding into such nonsense is for children and we are all adults.This past weekend Josh's friend died in combat and it makes any blog post so insignificant to us.

It brings this war in perspective to me when someone so close to us dies in battle. I can honestly say I've talked and met with his friend, Jeremy and it's so sad to see such a great man past away. My prayers go out to his family, especially his wife Colleen who is such a wonderful person, and their one year old son.

http://www.soc.mil/UNS/Releases/2011/June/110615-01.html

Monday, June 6, 2011

Military Wives

Being married to the military is very tough! Knowing your husband is in harms way everyday is a humongous burden to carry! Being alone, sometimes with children that you practically raise solely is tiring and stifling. It's also not an ideal setting for new couples trying to get to know one another, there's no way of fully learning about the other person until they have a long stretch of actually being home. 

Military wives have the very arduous task of maintaining a home and family by themselves for upwards of a year and a half! HOWEVER  it can be done with the right tools. I have met countless wives who are 20 or 21 years old, stay at home and have inundated themselves with their husband's military career without focusing on their own. If you know a military wife, you know that she wears her husbands rank, for example, a Sgt's wife thinks she should demand more respect than that of a Private's wife. Why? 

If more military wives were more financially independent and career-minded, their husband's career achievements would be just that, His! not yours! I've seen my own friends get divorced and left on the side of the road. They never took the time to dispel themselves from their significant other and establish themselves before or during the marriage. A mistake made countless times by military wives. 
Military Pay is not all that good. When you have 4 children, the military DOES NOT pay per head. You get pay with dependents and pay without dependents. Many in the military get married to collect BAH, if you're a lower ranking individual it can increase your pay significantly. Which is why the divorce rate is so high. People have nothing to lose, if you divorce you'll still collect BAH most of the time. 

Wives can find themselves in the poor house sometimes. Collecting from food drives is a weekly routine for many wives for the simple fact that they THOUGHT their husbands made a good salary. Adding up all your expenses plus his, plus you have no job, makes for meager living conditions. My friend Hynotik said it best in her video. I watched this about a year ago and agreed. NOW actually being in the military world I agreed wholeheartedly that military wives must establish their own life outside the military because tomorrow is never promised. He can leave you, suddenly or not. Bad things happen all the time and women must be able to support themselves. I love this video. 








Thursday, May 26, 2011

Attraction

What attracts a man to a woman and vise versa?

So my youtube friend did a video awhile back about Attraction. I told her i'd do a response video but never got around to it.

She used Garcelle Beauvais as an example. What attracted her to her husband? He is a tall, very mildly attractive white man. People were speculating that she was mainly attracted to him because he was white and rich, period.

I can't speak as to why she chose him but..I can speak for myself and SOME women when I say looks aren't everything and race isn't anything. I am attracted to the most wackiest and handsome men. There are certain characteristics in which I hold most appealing than most, for instance legs! I am such a leg girl. If men have great legs that is the biggest turn-on. Wooo..when I seen my boyfriend's legs for the first time I was drooling. Derek Jeter is attractive to me just because of his wonderful legs.

Other things such as facial features and personality plays a big part in attraction. The ugliest man turn into a grade 7 if he has a humorous, caring personality. I have met men whom I immediately shunned away because I didn't find them immediately attractive, after experiencing being in their presence my perception often changes. Same for attractive men, if you have no personality it can take you from a 10 to a 1.

Most women find certain men universally appealing such as Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp. The group of men I'm attracted to includes these men and much more, some may even find my men surprising. Some of them include:

I've loved Hayden ever since the show Higher Ground, which he filmed when he was 19 years old. To see him increase in star power has been very exciting. He's so gorgeous to me, he also has the most attractive smile ever!!




Usher!! During the Superbowl Half time my friends had to fan me because I was going crazy!! this man is so handsome! So athletic! His smile and dimple is to die for.
 Rain!! Besides being completely gorgeous he also so talented! Being an Asian pop star he probably gets his share of groupies so I'm sure he would never look twice at me. His lips are very sexy and his body is ...uuaahhh...enough said.

Shia Lebeouf!! OMG!! He has to be the sexist guy. He's small yes I know but his personality (bad boy), his attitude, his talent cannot be replicated. He has reached international success with Transformers and from then on. well after Disturbia I was hooked on him. 

 Sung Kang!! Ninja Assassin and Fast and the Furious featured Sung and boy did I notice. I even told my boyfriend that Sung was the only thing I paid attention to in the movie. I couldn't get my eyes off of him. His hair, his jawline and his lay-back personality makes him the attractive guy next door. I wanna live in his neighborhood!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Weddings!!

       This past weekend I was a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding. Wow, it was gorgeous. Words can't describe the feeling and emotion she and her new husband gave the crowd, grown men were crying tears of joy. I must have cried 5 times myself. She has been with her husband now for 8 years, they met in college and never have left one another's side since! It was at a beautiful hotel overlooking the pond through the huge mirrors behind the procession. However there was a monsoon outside. The makeup artist told us that it's a good thing when it rains on a wedding day, it means that the marriage will last very long. Everyone that knows Mike and Kenysha personally will tell you there's no doubt in our minds it will last forever. Not only have they been going strong for 8 years but they're extremely mature, their one another's co-pilot and best friends.

      Last year around this time I was upset over the stupid drama. Kenysha and Mike both called me and talked to me for hours about the situation. They gave me such great advice and it also was Kenysha who found a video of me on youtube. She called me right away and told me some psychopath did a video about me. Now, it seems so long ago but it was times like that I could count on them two to be there.
The only down part of the wedding was when people started asking for Josh :( Everyone it seems watches my youtube videos and wanted to meet him, even long lost cousins and aunts. I told them where he was and they all said "Well hang in there." "Don't worry, he'll be back before you know it.."
When it comes time for my wedding, I hope it will be even half as beautiful. I wish them the very best and I know like everyone else at the wedding that they're love will last forever. Congratulations!! Here's one of the videos I took after the ceremony was over and the reception was SUPPOSE to be over as well but of course it's my family and no one was leaving until they were ready to.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

If I Were Anyother Person who would I Be?

Hands down we have all wanted to be someone else at one point or another. Some of us have wanted to be Britney Spears or Halle Berry. For me it has always been one person. It is a celebrity which most people wouldn't give a second thought to. She isn't ultra famous but her name precedes her. She is a rock and roll princess, hell songs have been made for her! Zoe Kravitz!!
 Wow!! She is my all time favorite person ever! I've been her biggest fan for as long as I can remember. I know all her songs, I use to shop in similar places she did to try and emulate her style and type of sophistication/gungy look. She doesn't care what anyone thinks she sets her own trend. She's an actress/singer and student. She goes to school in New York and does most of her films during the summer. Of course her name rings multiple bells because she is the daughter of Lenny Kravitz, a musical genius and Lisa Bonet.









In terms of her style, she can be disheveled at times but that's her, she doesn't care what anyone thinks, much like me. I take much of my sense of self and relate with her on that level.

I got the priviledge of seeing her perform in a store in NYC two summers ago. I was sitting down while she was doing her mic check (me and two others waited while she warmed up). Her managers announced it would be awhile so I sat down and pretended to text someone, in reality I was masking how alone I felt being there all by myself. I thought there'd be a mass amount of ppl and I'd get lost in the crowd, I was wrong. As I sat down, she came over to me and said Hi! I was so shocked and happy all at once! We talked for awhile and even took a picture. Once that was over she and the rest of her band said they were performing and wanted me to come the very next weekend. I was like "I'll be there."

It ended up to be the greatest concert ever. I came by myself and her manager waved at me. Two minutes later he came outside, pointed at me and told me to come. I skipped 50 people, they opened the door for me and gave me a VIP seat. Little did I know Zoe herself requested that I be given a seat. She and her bandmates walked in, handed me drinks, we chatted all night and she performed. I danced, sang and made friends with her. Best Night Ever! Believe it or not, I still keep in touch with her managers who once told me Zoe and her entourage seen me and automatically seen a strong resemblance between us. I was so flattered, on the inside I was shouting aaahhh!!..Best Day Ever!





 These are some of my pics. I told my friends (the same friends that didn't want to go with me!) what happened and they all were absolutely jealous. As of right now, I know I'll never be her..of course not..lol..but it wouldn't hurt to be her friend. When I spoke to her she was so humble and down to earth.










Do I envy her? Uuuhh..yeah! Do I still want to be her? No, not so much.



Of course she's glamourous and a full blown musical princess but her life isn't as perfect as I once thought. She's not perfect, she told me she has a bunch of people publicly bashing her looks, style, etc on public mediums. I get called names constantly on youtube and just laugh it off because essentially those that are calling me names are nobodies. They hold no positions or titles. Those that bash her work for magazines, famous blogs, etc. That would be utterly humiliating for anyone to endure.

Right now she's living her life. Being who she wants and doing what she wants, such as I am. She is a lovely person inside and out, in another life I'd reincarnate myself to be her but for now I'm having fun just being me.









Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Royal Wedding

Ahhh!!! I cannot wait for the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate. I have always correlated my life with that of Prince William. When he went to school for the first time, I soon followed. I watched him grow up to a lovely, young man and saw my childhood/young adult life correlative with his. Not to mention, he is absolutely gorgeous! He was always well built, tall and even his facial structure was so well defined..picture of perfection even as a young child.




Now seeing him engaged, about to get married and start an entirely new chapter is a joyous time. I have read reports that even the drinks on the table are being measured so that they are aligned uniformly. Someone was quoted as saying " Nothing can go wrong even if they tried." I'm very happy for him, in fact I'm elated!
I watched a show about their life together. It was interesting how she waited for him for 8 years, had no job AND (here's the kicker) she is an ordinary British citizen, who would have thought?! Prince William will marry the common girl next door. His marriage will signify to the world that you don't need to marry money or status, royalty can marry whomever they please. Much like today's society, anyone can marry whomever they want. He told the press he made her wait for so long because his parents are divorced and essentially he didn't want to make the same mistake they did. His father, Prince Charles was in love with Camilla, a commoner (much like Kate) and later remarried her. This just goes to show that divorced parents affects children differently. When Josh and I first met he told me he never respected marriage, his parents divorced and he thought of marriage as "well if I don't like it, I'll just divorce whenever I want to." Essentially in his eyes it's just a long term relationship rather than a vow of eternal togetherness. I view marriage as "there will be high's and lows, but it will be forever."My parents have been married 30 years! I know what marriage is all about.
Prince William and Kate lived together for years so they understand one another habits, strong suits and weaknesses. It awesome to see him finally settling down with her, I have always preferred her for him.

Kate is absolutely exquist and I know Prince William will be making an excellent decision. He understands the vow and respects her immensely, you can tell. They have lived together for years now so his decision is well thought out. I wish him all the best on his marriage and I will be up bright and early at 4am on Friday to watch him marry the woman of his dreams. In my own head, I know my time will soon come but I'm not in a rush. Seemingly like the Prince, marriage is not a game to me.  HOWEVER I did want a sapphire ring and I got one! 

Again, Congratulations Prince William!!


Monday, April 18, 2011

My Style Icon

Everyone has their own celebrity which they see in magazines and want to emulate, in terms of style and dressing.  From as far back as I can remember my style Icon has been Vanessa Hudgens. Some may say..."huh..??" Yes! Vanessa Hudgens! It doesn't matter what magazine she graces, her style is consistent even with evening gowns. She has gone for a bohemian/abercrombie/punk look for as long as I can remember.

She pairs a scarf and boho bag perfectly with her small frame.


The styling of her clothing/shoes and BAGS is SPOT ON in every picture taken of her and I love her re-use of the same bag multiple times with different levels of casual. Not many celebrities can pull it off.

The motorcycle boots fad maybe so last summer but she knows what looks best on her and she does it anyway. Her bohemian/punk style looks so awesome on her. You can tell she is super skinny and short. Wearing high boots, a medium sized shirt and shorts can make her legs seem a bit longer.

She is also my Hair Icon. I love her naturally long cascading curls. Vanessa loves to fluctuate from bangs to middle parts to side parts-also not many can pull this off. I have never seen her hair short unless it was side bun paired with an evening gown or a red carpet photo from an awards show.
She has helped me embrace my small frame. Even flare jeans, which may not be too flattering to short, skinny women looks absolutely gorgeous on her

I wish I could rade her closet!

She makes jeans look out of sight! Whether jean shorts or pants, she pairs it with the perfect shirt and bag. I can guarantee you if you see a picture of Vanessa she will be in a fantastic outfit. She is my Ultimate Style Icon.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Paying Bills and Yourself


I was talking to a co-worker of mine and she said that she loves paying her bills. I told her eehh not me but it is gratifying to know I have the money to pay them. She said that she has a car note, insurance, mortgage, phone bill, utilities and catholic school for her child. I asked her politely "you pay all those bills by yourself? have you been saving any?" She said no she can't.
This happens to many people and it's for multiple reasons. Either your not getting enough pay or your living above your means. If your paying all your bills and cannot pay yourself first there is something wrong. Pay Yourself First. Save your money! In times of emergency, a car accident, a last minute plane flight or non emergency, remodeling your home, etc we all need a small stash (or perhaps big stash).

Material goods come and go so I don't put much value into them. Purses worth hundreds, yeah i buy one if I want but I never covet or treasure them, it's a purse. The only thing I treasure is people. Family and friends are the people whom I value. I don't pay people on a biweekly basis to love me, they do it voluntarily. The only thing we can take with us when we die are memories and love.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Should I?

Yes! We all have different textures but we all need to learn to embrace what God gave us. Too often I see women whom don't and end up demolishing the health of their hair. Thin, brittle and weak whether your white or black is not the way you want your hair. I have Caucasian friends who envy my hair, mainly because of the thickness, length and health. Don't for a second believe that all Caucasian people have healthy hair. It may however be easier to maintain.






If I had my way, I'd have hair like her. Not straight at all. The perfect Kinky curly texture, much like my sister's mame. Most people tell me I should grow out my relaxer but why?! I'm just gonna blow and straighten my hair all the time. Imagine straightening this hair every week...not fun.  To be honest this could probably be my hair if I get off of the chemical crack. Should I? Whenever it comes time to relax I get the idea "hey should I just go natural?" but maybe I will stop relaxing...oneday. I'm afraid that no one in corporate America will take me seriously with hair like this. It's less about what I want and more about what my hair says about my persona. I'm still young, I have a long time to think about it.

As far as men go they care more about your natural beauty than anything else. Now It's been 7 months since my last relaxer. Most relaxed women ask themselves this question at least once or twice a year. I'd just hate to go natural and not like the way my hair looked. Hhmm.. this question always enters my mind around the time I absoutely need a perm....we shall see.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

In Times of Fashion

LMAO..I've been cracking up at the OOTD videos I've encountered on youtube. None of them are good. The execution is all wrong and the outfits are sometimes so horrendous I stop watching after 10 seconds. Many people don't know how to dress. I myself grew up in NYC and we have a saying in NY that goes “if you are not in fashion, you are nobody." Everyone has their own style and style is eternal. Some people see themselves as free flowing fashionistas and can change style and fashion with the seasons. 
I follow a few fashion blogs and every single girl is from NYC or So Cal. It seems more often people from big cities have the access to some of the most fashionable clothing (fashionable clothing that isn't high priced rather paired with low priced/thrift shopped items and made to look wonderful). I am the type of person whom when going outside I dress my very best. Not to impress men or woman, rather just to express myself. 




On a typical day in NYC I would dress like this to work. An outfit all together would cost me (not including shoes) no more than 50-60 dollars. As I moved down south I quickly noticed that NO ONE paid any attention to clothes, it is not admired nor thought about. It's aggravating to see people in normal t shirt and jeans all the time, no one lets out any of themselves. The malls are a joke and I have been a victim of the t shirt and jeans conformity but not anymore. I got my hands on a few clothing sites that have such an array of  items. I'm no longer going to feed into the normality of the south rather express myself and be who I once was. i will be doing my own fashion blogs with pictures in the coming months so look out for it :)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Carefree Spirits


Man! What I wouldn't give to be this girl. Lying on a train track with nothing to lose, smoking a cigarette (it's something about women who smoke that just exults rugged, carefree and lose), tattoo on her ankle and bra showing through her shirt. I was never this girl. Do I wish I could be her? Yes. Having nothing to lose must be invigorating. I'm guessing she probably dropped out of school at one point in her life, ouch. She's gorgeous! But looks fade, by the time this girl is 30 she will be a devilishly beautiful middle aged woman. So! She roams her town at any hour of night or day, as she pleases. I never got to do that! But...She looks like she has no job, no place to call her own and hangs with the wrong crowd. She can have any man she wants and she looks like she has been with a few dozen. Her number is probably higher than most but what if she has a disease she doesn't know about? Eeehh.. maybe her life isn't so hot after all.

This life may be appealing to teenagers and women in their early twenties but by the time your 25 years old you will ask yourself, what is the purpose of my life? What do I have to offer the world? What will I do with my life? Hopefully this life hasn't completely consumed you and your intellect and you will be able to come up with an answer.

Monday, April 4, 2011

I think it was Michael Jackson who coined this phrase. It's so poignant for today's world, whether your a celebrity or an ordinary person, you feel as the world must change but not you. That isn't the case.

In order for the world to collectively change, everyone must do it. Whether it be to donate your money or time to a greater cause, treat other people better or brighten up the day of an unknown stranger just change. We all have things we must alter about ourselves, no one is perfect. Do something that will be beneficial to the world around us rather than to selfishly contemplate how to better our own life. Better the life of a homeless or sick person once a week or once a month. It will change your perspective on life as you know it. Since high school, I have volunteered at senior citizen homes, after-school tutoring for small lower class children and feeding the homeless. I'm gonna start volunteering at a homeless shelter once a week not for any reason other than to help my community and you should too. Change is within all of us, it is up to you to bring it out.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Morals and Women

Growing up we all take different paths. We all start from the same line and zoom off in different directions. It's sad how some of us end up. Drug addictions, struggling with children and/or unhappy with where life has taken them. Blame no one but yourselves.

High morals and standards is what I've always had. Doing well in school was not enough for my parents, they wanted me to excel in other things, dance, piano, karate, social settings, etc. A black belt in karate, being the best dancer, etc I learned quickly you can't always make your parents proud however you don't have to lower your own moral values in order to gratify an urge you have. Be aware of your priorities, goals and people whom you let enter your space.

As little children, we are all taught differently and we all tend to listen/obey at different times. I obeyed my parents to the fullest extent. I never questioned them or back talked, I was obedient and conscience of everything they told me, always! not sometimes. Some may say that is the reason why I didn't date until College or stayed single for years after my first relationship ended, I never needed anyone to complete me.

I was never ever told by my parents to find a man that can support/provide for me. My father always told me "you need to find the reason why a man would want to add you into their life. What do you have to offer someone? Provide for yourself and don't rely on any one to do it for you if you can't do it for them, etc." My mom tells me more often than none roles often change in long term relationships, people lose their jobs, etc and you need be able to stay above water. If you incorporate someone into your life, keep them afloat as well. It's a partnership, not a one man business.  My parents know about life and relationships, more than half of their life has been spent together. Through the ups and downs, my parents supported each other at different times and to this day have their separate identities. They're separate lives, they're separate hobbies and interests even very different personalities. They've tried to instill a great amount of life education into me however there's no way of really learning something until you've experienced it.

Having to grow up a woman is not easy. You learn these things the hard way or the easy way. I knew these principals from an early age that's why when entering into a relationship, any relationship I never seen it as what can this person offer me? I thought of it as is this person at a stable place in his life? does he know what he want to do as a career? If i was aware that this person is serious about his life and loved me (and vise versa) then i knew we could build a future together.

My financial future never relied on someone else's paycheck. Ladies, I will never be able to say this enough. If you know what you want go after it but think about why you want it and if it will be the best thing for you! Men come and go but a degree is forever. Love yourself first. Be the person you would want to be with. Make yourself irresistible. Can't cook, learn! Out of shape, exercise! If your broke, spend a day handing out resumes to retail companies or any small store that's hiring so you'll have money coming in (even if it's not as much as you would like). Spend your money right! Put money away for the future and never spend more because you have more. My mom's an accountant and as far as my financial responsibilities goes, she has schooled me well.

Also, just remember be a lady! No man wants to be with another man friend. Josh's bff Lonzo came to visit and told Josh that as far as women went I was the best woman he's ever had. I was a lady however I'm very down to earth. Men will be men however as far as respecting me, all men know just by looking at me that I demand respect. If more women were like that, there'd be less gangbangs..lol..

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

St. Patty's Day

It seems like so long ago now but my first St. Patty's Day in Savannah was a blast! Josh marches in the parade every year along with the rest of his army colleagues. The Savannah tradition is the wives/gf's/random teenagers apply red lipstick and kiss the soldiers as they approach.



I have a friend (who happens to be a lieutenant in the Army) whom I hung out with most of the day. We drank Mimosas, vodka and orange juice, four lokos and many other things I can't remember..lol. After Josh got released, he started to drink and that's when the fun began!



Upon ending Day 1 of St. Patty's Day, I didn't expect the festivities could get more reckless however the weekend was just as crazy. Josh's bff from his hometown came here. We all went to eat, chatted for a bit then off to the bar we went. We drank endlessly all weekend, which is the St. Patty's tradition and had a genuinely great time. After drinking, everyone needs a Turkey leg..lol.


Upon initially meeting Josh, he begged me to stay for St. Patty's Day but I didn't. However I don't know if I would have had a better time than I did this year. And! what was hilarious was that Josh did a youtube video about a lady staring at us at Golden Coral. Upon eating this turkey leg, she called out to us and said "aren't you the couple I seen at Golden Coral awhile back?" We laughed and said "ugh..yeah." She replied "Yes, I remember you two.. small world." We didn't recognize her. She dyed her hair black and... to be honest, we both just remembered her hair being orange, not her facial features. I don't know how she remembered us but I'm guessing it was because she was staring pretty attentively the entire time at Golden Coral. It made for a very awkward meal but meeting her out in the crowd that night we could care less.

Monday, March 28, 2011

My Number One Must Visit Destination

One acquaintance of mine took her tuition money for a semester of grad school and went backpacking through Europe! Looking at her amazing pictures and the amazing places she visited was nothing short of magnificent! I stumbled upon some of her pictures she took on the island of Santorini and fell in love. I made this destination my number one place I want to visit before I die. I want to one day lay out on Red beach and relax in the European sun.

Of course some may not find this place as appealing as I do. The sheer awkwardness of the red sand and gravel on the beach isn't appealing to many however I find it amazing that a place like this exists.
My friend climbed those rocks and leaped off into the water. The water is crystal clear blue and there are trees growing from the rocks, the architecture is like none other. The Greek Islands is definitely a vacation I'd love to take oneday( anticipating to visit before I turn 30). In terms of exploration, it'd be interesting as well. The smaller island entitled "Therasia" is a small lagoon that has been previously impacted by volcanoes and earthquakes so it looks semi demolished, semi artistically lavish. This European country also has a thriving wine industry. If anyone knows me, they know I loooove wine. I buy a bottle a week of different types and brands just to try out and taste. I have never came across one I did not care for..ever..

As far as my other need-to-go destinations of course they range from the extroadinary to the very mundane. I've been to half of them already however if I had to make a list it would go like this:

10. Trinidad and Tobago ( for the food mostly. I seen an episode of Anthony Bourdain and wanted the food sooo badly)
 9. Paris, France

8. Prague, Czech republic

7. London, England

6. Cabo san lucas, Mexico(Love it there!)

5: Italy (Naples)

4. Sorrento, Italy

3.Ibiza, Spain

2. Ios, Greece

1. Island of Santorini, Greece

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Joys of Pregnancy

To be an average 16 year old girl and pregnant poses so many issues however being 26 and pregnant can pose different issues but issues nonetheless. I can sit here and lists things that are absolutely revolting such as morning sickness, skin discoloration, extreme cramping, stretch marks (not only on your stomach, you can get stretch marks on your rear end as well) and even postpartum hair loss. If anyone is pregnant or was pregnant the mere shock of the news is frightening enough, to think of child birth and raising a life form is terrifying.

I don't find any joys in being pregnant- at least physically. If your lucky enough to have a wonderful partner and amazing family, you will be fine but emotionally you'll still be a wreck. I came across this book in Barnes and Nobles and thought it was an oxymoron. I would advise women that want children in the future to wait until they can provide a stable household, they are ready mentally and professionally for a child and make sure you have a good support system. I could be 19 or 31 but if I do not have a job, no income, no baby daddy it doesn't matter what age you are, you're probably not ready.

I think the ultimate joy of pregnancy is the end when you get to hold your baby. My mom always told me "when you see your child you'll really know what love is."

Monday, March 7, 2011

Pimples!

Ugh.. As I sit here writing this post, it almost makes me wanna cry. I have battled with Acne since I was 15 yrs old. In High school all the girls would say how low my confidence was because I walked with my head down wherever I went. It wasn't that I had low confidence by nature but how could I look at people in the face? Makeup didn't help, if you have a bump on your face, you can still see it no matter how much concealer you apply.

Both my parents had bad skin as young adults and now they're skin is flawless. My mother took me to world reknown dermatologists all through high school and college. Nothing ever helped. I was even put on Accutane, which as you know causes major sideaffects such as depression but I didn't care. Hell, I was depressed everyday because of my face. It actually did help however, alittle bit. I've never had ultra clear skin, I actually always envied the people that did. There was one point I did not have a clear spot on my skin. Going to sleep crying, praying to God for it to go away, trying any and everything I could get my hands on, seeing doctors, getting facials, nothing helped. My acne to this day shows up around my menstrual cycle, as an indication that it's going to being soon but I don't have the major problems as I once did.
Acne can also come at any age. One of my good friends in College had wonderful skin, my roomate at the time one day complimented her saying how gorgeous her skin was. She left school and a couple months later we reunited and she had pimples all over her face. I couldn't believe it, her skin was flawless. She told me that she had started breaking out and it won't stop. I could offer her no help because I was having the same issues. Her and I tried Proactiv together and it did nothing for both of us. We used it for eight months. After that I used Proactiv two other times, this time for years and my skin was still breaking out. Well now, I have finally found MY cure.
One of my good friends recommended birth control tablets and Dr. Miracles Skin System. The entire system is twenty bucks in the pharmacy. I was like "this won't work but i'll try anything." My skin did a 360. My skin is finally smooth and the clearest it has ever been. I am an avid youtube watcher, as you know and MakeupbyLeina said something that almost made me want to cry because I knew exactly what she meant. Here's her video. She uses another system and I intend to use it in the coming months. Here's her video.



Friday, March 4, 2011

The Army!

All I know is that I've never had more respect for the men and women fighting overseas than I do right now.
You hear women all the time talk about not having their "soldier" around because he's away, that is an understatement. I was talking to an army wife last year, the day before the military ball, she said "I have been married two years and probably actually only been around him for about 8 months." Her statement resonated in my head. I thought at the time that ordinary people could never have a stable relationship like that but I was wrong, well at least in my case.

Josh is currently away, I cannot tell you what he's doing or where but what I can say is that loneliness is eminent if your dating military. Most men, like my cousin, are gone for an entire year with only a two week vacation to go home. Having three children on top of that isn't ideal.
All I can say is that it may not be ideal, if you cannot handle being away from someone for long periods of time and always need attention from your mate, a military man is not for you. Days go by and you don't get a phone call and then there are days he'll call 20 times in one day.
Our one year anniversary is coming up on March 26th..yeayy, we've been living together since May but Ive  been living with him physically in my presence for seven months, if I discount his deployment period. This is the video that had me in tears during our last deployment. I love this video and would watch it multiple times over and still cry every time. 

 



I'm not alot of maintenance, highly independent but I wonder and worry about those wives who have no job and stay home to raise children. Everyday must be so long and stressful not having that helping hand there.  It does seem like this will be a long stretch of coming months where he'll be gone. I think about him every second of the day.  It's not fair but who ever said life was fair.